The Balcony Broke And I Fell (TJM Suicide Campaign Episode 1)

Hello everyone my name is Jamie and this is my quick story about how God took me out of suicidal thoughts and you know mine was really really something that I can say I couldn’t talk about with anyone because it was something that was happening to me most of the time when I was drinking or after drinking with friends and all that.
When I’d be alone in my bed the first thought that always kept on coming was to throw myself out of the balcony, that was all I was just thinking about, doing something wrong to myself or hurt myself. These were the things that were really in me and I was really trying to hide them not tell anybody and obviously, it was before I actually gave my life to Jesus and I think after that the last experiment that I had of um trying to commit suicide didn’t even…. it was even not my own will. I remember after giving my life to Christ seeing that that spirit was something I think was because one thing, I  understood that a suicidal thought or a suicidal spirit can be something that is in your sphere, your atmosphere let’s say it’s something that maybe can control a particular family a particular atmosphere a particular territory and in case you are already giving a sign of such a thing that spirit will actually just come the time you open up the way for it, so that was my life. I think nobody actually knew about it because it was always coming to me every time I would drink, I really wanted to drink so much so that I can hurt myself and it happened. 
I believe in 2013 when I was really sick and tired of this life like I was into all the things but you know when I decided to give my life to Christ I was just thinking of all these things, thinking about um like is this all about life is this all about what I can do or is it all about you know just being alive? Is it all? So I was just questioning myself and until I found that freedom in Jesus and when I gave my life to Jesus that wasn’t it because I had to accept that first, but I was maybe still living in that guilty mind and trying. 
I remember one day I stood off the balcony and that balcony broke by itself and I think I was even going down until today I cannot even explain how that happened I think I was standing in front of the balcony and their railings just broke, it was a concrete let’s say barrier something that was blocking that space but that thing broke by itself and it went down and I believe I went down with it and I just remember saying Jesus and that name got me back up to where I was I cannot actually understand it and I even don’t know how to explain it but I believe that I will bring the picture in your mind and you’ll understand actually what happened and I just remember standing back on the floor where I was and seeing that that’s the wall uh dropping down the ground floor and that was I think the last experience of seeing myself having such thing.
And from that day I got totally free from that suicidal thought and I remember sometime back then it was still gonna be let’s say coming and trying to stay and I’ll keep on declining that I’m in Christ now and all these things are not mine anymore and I just want to encourage anybody who is going through this to understand first this is a real matter, maybe many people don’t talk about it but the truth is that in one way or another people always have some of the suicidal thoughts because it’s another thing to commit suicide another thing to want to just commit suicide and also another thing to have success because it can always be in us but when we don’t nourish it actually dies and that’s actually the thing.
 You know why to try to end your life when you have a lot of problems I think that’s not the way out, because when you’re actually going out of your life you will live up to all the problems, so the best way is to try to give them to someone who is stronger, someone who is stronger to hold down to those worries that you have, to hold down to this problem that you have and that’s what I will say.
 We should cast out all our problems to him because he cares and he will take care of us, surely he might not answer everything directly but one thing I’m certain and I’m sure that he will give us his peace and that peace is greater than any other peace that we can find on earth. Even the bible says that no man can actually understand something which is from above and I know one of the things that also will keep you keep your Faith in him is to understand that you are loved and God cares about you and you are not alone, he is with you. Keep on fighting keep on asking God to help you and to strengthen you. Pray in the spirits and encourage yourself and please do talk with someone. when such things are coming to you to talk with friends, do talk with people you can also use your social media to talk about this matter when you’re having, you can drop it on your Facebook or your Instagram and to seek help, that’s one of the things that I think will really help you. God bless you and it was your brother.

Thanks and regards.